The Best Political Team of the Future

LOITERING WITH INTENT TRANSCRIPT – TUBE BALL – 8 PM 2/20/08 – ANY FAULTS IN TRANSCRIPT ARE NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF LOITERING WITH INTENT, PAUL OLIVER, OR ANY SUBSIDARIES – BLAME ALL MISTAKES ON OUR STUPID INTERN GREGORY – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

(Begin transmission)

Moderator:
Hey everybody, Paul Oliver here. Welcome to Tube Ball.

As we all know, the Internet is the savior of a lost and confused world in dark and perilous times. It represents the future, because it’s a tool that helps us educate the people of the world. For example, Americans were once in general mostly ignorant yet uncompromisingly arrogant in their opinions. As we all know, the Internet changed all of that, because the facts were available to everyone with a simple stroke of the keys!

As you know, everyone on the Internet is knowledgeable, open to new information, and considerate of others. I mean, why wouldn’t they be, they have access to most of the world’s information!

That’s why for our panel on politics today, I’ve invited Digg Remarks, Facebook Discussions, and Youtube Comments to contribute their perspectives on the political scene. It’s the best internet political team ever!

You see, by taking real comments word-for-word from these websites and putting them in a standard format of political discussion like we usually see on cable TV, we will have a commentary that will naturally be extremely fair-minded and knowledgeable! Aren’t you excited?!

Today we’re going to be talking about the much-contested Democratic primary. No doubt, as we’re on the internet, we will be having intelligent discussions about issues like the difficult logistics of enforcing healthcare mandates, whether preconditions should be used when meeting with our nation’s enemies, and the future of clean coal technologies.

With this input today, we can really work together to get a well-thought out vision of how the candidates can learn from the intellectual paradise that is the Internet. Let’s play Tube Ball!

Youtube Comments, it’s good to have you here, what do you think about Barack Obama’s momentum after winning ten states in a row?

Youtube Comments:
THE FULL WEIZGHT OF THE GOP PROPAGANDA MACHINE WILL GO INTO HIGH GEAR AGAINST OBAMA...AND HE WILL LOSE IN THE GENERAL ELECTION

Moderator:
Sounds like you’re leaning towards Hillary on this one, do you think her experience card would play better against the GOP?

Youtube Comments:
The Hillary "experience" - a lazy, long suffering wronged wifey barking orders to her staff & military aides while the perv-in-chief is pleasured under the oval office desk - R.I.P. psycho bitch.

Moderator:
Alright, so you support nothing but the worst within all of us, I guess that's fair. So where is Obama’s momentum coming from?

Youtube Comments:
Google, closely allied with the farthest Right elements of our society (Voice of America) is promoting Obama on You Tube and denigrating Clinton.

Moderator:
Okay, that doesn’t really make sense. Let’s talk to someone else. Facebook, we haven’t really seen an indication that John McCain would be able to make negative attacks work any better than Hillary Clinton has. Do you see the general election playing out differently?

Facebook Discussions:
The pro-Obama sentiment on Hannity and Rush along with the rest of the Corporate media is more than suspicious. Right now it appears that the system is trying to create an Obama victory against McCain for it's own purposes. The manufacture of consent continues....

Moderator:
Okay, you absolutely didn’t answer my question and you’re kind of creeping me out. Digg Remarks, throw me a bone here.

Digg Remarks:
At first I thought Obama was just an empty suit. A half-assed semi-socialist like most Dems. But this makes him a dangerous guy! And he belongs to an anti-American anti-white church. And the pastor lauds Louis Farrakhan to the skies. Right now, I think O'Bama is the most dangerous man in the world.

Moderator:
Okay, aside from none of that being true, I think you just managed to offend a political philosophy and major religion in the same statement. Well, Digg Remarks, you don’t seem to like Obama. Who do you support?

Digg Remarks:
If everyone cared less about who's popular and more about who has real solutions for America and a real solid record Ron Paul would be doing much better.

Moderator:
What, well don’t you think some of us actually-

Digg Remarks:
And if Obama supporters continue to be-

Moderator:
…have looked up Ron Paul’s positions and aren’t happy…

Digg Remarks:
…worse than Ron Paul supporters…

(CROSSTALK)

Moderator:
(inaudible)

Digg Remarks:
Can I finish?

Moderator:
FINE. GO AHEAD.

Digg Remarks:
(Clears throat.) If Obama supporters continue to be worse than Ron Paul supporters on Digg and other internet forums, he will lose his advantage.

Moderator:
Are you out of your goddamn mind?! No one is going to change their support because of internet forums!

(Pause)

Moderator:
Okay, that was inappropriate, I apologize. Let’s go turn back to Youtube Comments. Youtube, really, explain how you see things playing out in the general election:

Youtube Comments:
the funny thing is that all of these retards have no clue. obama hasn't nary a fucking chance at getting elected in a general election. you will see euro-americans who are indys voting for anyone other than obama. white americans are still the majority. hahaha

Moderator:
Umm, wait what? First of all, how do you explain all these victories in the Midwest? Iowa is 95% white and he won there by eight points. And second, Euro-Americans? What does that even mean? Am I a Euro-American? Judges?

Judges:
Yes, Paul, he means Caucasian.

Moderator:
Okay, he probably should have just said that.

(Loud sigh)

Alright, Facebook Discussions, you’re composed of college and high school students, you must have some good analysis for us. What do you think are the challenges that our 44th president is going to have to confront first?

Facebook Discussion:
America is falling into a recession and needs technology and innovation. Dubai and China already have more skyscrapers under construction. The US if falling behind on fiber optics, biotechnology and health care is 42 in the world with one of the worst obesity and life expectancy rates.

Moderator:
Wow, that actually shows some global perspective, that’s hopeful. Well Facebook Discussion, how do you think Obama supporters feel about these global issues?

Facebook Discussions:
Obama's supporters are overwhelmingly black on a racist jihad.

Moderator:
WHAT?! How the hell can you say that in the same comment? You were just showing you had actually looked at The World section of a newspaper in the last year! Or maybe you listened to NPR a car with that slightly nerdy guy in your dorm who takes everybody to Chipotle on Friday’s! I had hope for you!

(Moderator reaches for saber hidden behind unnecessarily large and elaborate newsdesk)

(Audible clanking)

Judges:
Paul, now is not the time.

Moderator:
Okay, fine, you’re right. Let’s wrap this up. Youtube Comments, any final thoughts?

Youtube Comments:
SUSCRIBE TO MY VIDEOS

(End transmission)